Christmas has always been a time of magic and family for me.
As a child, I was spoiled rotten with three (and sometimes four) different Christmas celebrations. We always traveled to spend Christmas with my mother’s side of the family, have our own Christmas at home, and then go celebrate with my dad’s side.
Lots of traveling, lots of awkward family photos, lots of hugging you didn’t always want to participate in. And lots of love and laughter.
As I got older, and not necessarily more grown-up, traditions evolved and my own little pre-made family started new traditions and welcomed yet more family gatherings into our lives. My holiday season now included Christmas with my parents, my dad’s side of the family, my husband’s mother and her family, my husband’s father and his family, and finally, Christmas with my stepchildren.
The season was full.
This year brings a season full of change. Due to the death of a matriarch and hub of our family, we will most likely not be celebrating together this year, as the spokes of the family wheel move further apart on separate paths.
My husband and I are in the process of getting divorced, cutting out at least three family gatherings and some of the magic and excitement that comes with being around kids during the Christmas season.
We are also trying to sell our house to finally sever our financial ties to each other, so there is no point in busting out the Christmas tree and giant Christmas village that normally engulf my living rooms.
Instead there are moving boxes, suitcases, empty rooms, and all my shiny festive decorations are cold and lonely in a storage locker on the other side of town.
In addition, during all this, some new characters have come into my life, which brings its own set of challenges and excitement during the holiday season.
My heart is full, but in new and different ways. Like the Grinch, I have discovered the season and its blessings come without boxes and bows, without trees and lights, and without the comfort of what we’ve once known.
So for others like me, not necessarily struggling, but growing in different and difficult ways this holiday season, may we look back on this sparsely decorated and celebrated time of our lives and see the true magic that has been happening all along that brought us to this point and exactly where we needed to be.
Merry Christmas.
Amanda Bold, Havre
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