My family and I have just returned from what was a long time away. Nine days. Okay, for some that’s nothing at all and I commend the people who can stay away longer than that. We left Tuesday morning for Kalispell. My husband had a training session the following day and since our flight left from Kalispell, the timing worked perfectly.
Now, boarding my dogs always kills me. I know they are so well taken care of, but my bulldog mix, in particular, is very sensitive to my whims and emotions (as erratic as they are). Going to California to see family I haven’t seen in years, for my boys to meet uncles and cousins they have never met, and the main reason for the visit, my father’s recent passing. I would need my four-legged companion more than ever. Alas, my two-legged would have to do.
It was my kids first time on an airplane. I was so nervous that it would be a nightmare. We bought new lightweight FAA approved car seats (that we had to carry onto the plan — with luggage. And toddlers). We brought the earmuffs in case it was too loud. I brought fruit snacks and candy in case I had to bribe them.
They. Did. Fantastic.
At first I was seated eight rows behind my family. Um, sorry Roger. That’s a no go. If this thing goes up in flames I want to be right next to my husband, so he can hear me say “I told you so!” one last time. But on a less morbid note, it was my kids’ first time on a plane. I had to be next to them. The lady at boarding made the switch so that I was seated next to my youngest, and my husband and oldest were a few rows behind us.
Oh, did I mention that I have a four-year-old and a three-year-old and I don’t know how to adjust the straps of a car seat? No? Well, I’m mentioning it. I have just recently learned how to strap the seat into the car. Since the seats were new, they hadn’t been adjusted yet. So, there I was — that mom — on a plane, holding up the line. Not knowing how to put a car seat in. Apologizing profusely to anyone who dared make eye contact.
Enter the cape-wearing husband. He hooked up my oldest, put on his earmuffs and came to save me.
My son kept asking, “Who’s that guy and why is he talking?” I kindly responded, “That’s a lady, she’s called a flight attendant, and she’s telling us how to work the seat belts.” To which he replied, “I know how to work a seat belt.” I handed him a bag of fruit snacks, patted him on the head and prayed that our family didn’t end up on a viral video.
The next seven days was a rollercoaster of what I assume usually happens during the time that a family member dies. Sadness, anger, frustration, confusion, circus monkeys, some kid selling lemonade. Or is that just my family?
I was nervous about bringing my boys, I’ll admit that. And while at times I was frustrated that all they wanted to do was go to the beach and play, I took a step outside my situation and realized that’s all I also wanted to do.
Before leaving Montana, I explained to my oldest that there would be some boring parts of the trip. That we would be in the car for a while. That he might see mommy get sad at times. But I also promised that when the rough spots were over, I would find fun for us. For the first time in my life, Casa de Choo Choo was up and running at Casa de Fruita. It’s a usual stop when I make my way back to California and I was beyond excited to share the experience with my boys. It was a bonus that the little train was running. Old farm equipment lined the tiny railroad tracks and my boys (even my 6-foot boy) was in awe. We made a stop at a few roadside fruit stands and headed for the coast.
Seeing the ocean through my kids’ eyes fixed so much of the bad parts of the trip. The way their gears turned while they watched the water wash away the sand beneath their feet. Finding crabs and taking them down to the water to make sure they lived. Building a see-saw out of beached logs. The sheer excitement of spending nothing but time together.
That feeling was the most magical moment I’ve had in quite some time. It reminded me that for all the recent years that I had been begging for a vacation, it wasn’t to escape from my life back home. Not at all. But to show my boys something, to experience it with them. To throw my beach bag at my husband and yell “I’ll be back!” and run into the surf with my boys; to be right there with them when that first dose of cold water splashed up against them and the following laughter (except for my youngest, who didn’t laugh. He fell and didn’t go near the waves again).
Maybe my father’s death wasn’t the reason I was hoping to go back to California. But I find that when there is dirt in life, there is cleansing in death. I have ways to go to process some things, but the good that came out of this trip will never be shadowed by the reason for it. We flew back into Kalispell seven days after we flew out. As much as there is nothing like the ocean to soothe my everything, there was nothing like nodding off in my own car and waking up to the waves of wheat blowing in Montana wind.
—
My Dear Readers,
I have found so much joy in writing this column. It has only been a few weeks, but the feedback has been so positive and I’m glad I can bring a smile to your faces. While I don’t know you, I still want to thank you for helping one of my dreams come true.
Every month with the help of our incredible local businesses, I will hold a drawing for one lucky mom (or two, who knows?). One column each month will be your opportunity to head to Facebook and tag a mom that you think deserves to win something special. Being a mom is the hardest job there is and I want to thank every mom for showing up every day.
So read my column each week. When you see the giveaway, tag a mom!
This month’s giveaway is our first and it’s from Teresa Getten Photography. She’s a photographer right here in Havre and her work is amazing! Tag a mom and if she’s chosen, she will win a 90-minute photo shoot with Teresa, complete with a gallery of 50+ images (a $300 value). This would be a great opportunity for a mom who deserves some time in the light. Maybe a fun fashion shoot! Bring a few outfit changes, be silly, have fun. Be the beautiful mom that you are! The object is to capture you!
Tag away readers! Good luck!
Alissa Hewitt was born in Arizona and raised in California. When she was 21, she visited her mother in Montana. Amazed that someone could make under $7 an hour and rent a house, she stayed. She’s lived in Butte, Billings and Great Falls before moving to Chinook. After 17 years in Big Sky Country, she can say with certainty that Montana has a heartbeat all of its own.
Together with her husband, she manages a wattle manufacturing business. The couple has two young children, three dogs, a guinea pig, a cat, and each other.
- More